Pam glanced nervously from Jim to Phyllis, twirling her engagement ring on her finger. She slipped it off and back on. Unsure. That was the word to describe it. Phyllis smiled over at Jim, catching his eye. He did his one-sided grin, the grin that made Pam's heart just melt. She pulled her ring off again, before delicately sliding it back down her finger. That was a golden opportunity missed. Pam thought back to that night after the work casino evening, how he'd held her with his large and gentle hands.. How he'd kissed her softly, his eyes closed firmly and earnestly.. She missed that night. She'd do anything to relive it, go back, have him touch her arm playfully or let her into a prank on Dwight. But those times were in the past. She'd let Roy overpower her for one day too long, and just like that Jim had moved on. She couldn't blame him. This was entirely her fault. Engaged to a drop-kick of a guy for 3 years, not even phased that he wasn't ready to set a date.
"I'd be all over that if I wasn't dating Pam," he'd said.
"Dating? We're engaged," Pam had replied, stopping mid spoonful to glare at him in shock.
"Right, yeah. That's what I meant."
Pam stood up and left the room, headed straight to the bathroom to cry. Jim had been there waiting for her, right outside the ladies' bathroom door, when she came out. She'd nuzzled into his shoulder and quietly let the tears flow down her rosy cheeks. He held her. He held her and he loved her and she felt him and she loved him back. Things were perfect, more so than they had ever been with Roy. More so than they probably would ever be. She knew that, yet she couldn't summon the courage to break it off with him. Besides, by this point Jim was already interested in Phyllis.
Pam was making copies when she heard giggling coming from the break room. Following the sound, she came across Jim, holding Phyllis in his strong arms. Both the thought and the sight of it sickened her. Phyllis' fat bulged under her shirt, especially around her protruding bra straps. Jim was holding her large, flabby hips and kissing her on the mouth. Foul. Pam backed up suddenly, hitting a wall on the way out of the break room, capturing the attention of the office's new (and totally mismatched) couple.
"Pam," Jim said, loosening his previously firm grip on Phyllis' waist and looking slightly shy. Colour rushed to Phyllis' cheeks before she stifled a giggle.
"He's cute huh?" she asked Pam. "I've always liked a younger man." She looked cheekily into Jim's blue eyes and he winked back. The pit of Pam's stomach burned and squelched simultaneously.
"Yeah, well... I guess for me I'm marrying someone older, but in the sack!-"
"Let's not go there," Jim said, entwining his fingers with Phyllis'. Pam noticed but tried not to stare.
"Why not?" she challenged. "You two seem perfectly happy displaying your affections at work."
"Yeah, well, y'know," said Jim, smirking. He was so sexy. Pam gazed but had to stop herself.
"No. I don't know." Pam was getting frustrated. Surely, she thought, surely somewhere in his heart he still had feelings for her. Surely it wasn't all lost.
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